Two things I know about love and relationships

Love is the best feeling ever. And it all starts with you.  I know that a lot of you reading this want me to get talking about relationships right away. Sorry to disappoint but I’m not. I’m starting with the self. Self love. Numero Uno. Why? Because that’s where love begins.

What I’m talking about isn’t a new idea, it’s probably one of the oldest views of love.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

I could dig up older quotes. Buddha is pretty old though. So this quote will do.

I think, feel, know that we are enough already. Before there’s even the validation of others.

The challenge for so many of us is to recognise it. It’s the opposite of loneliness. You become your own best friend. Once achieved, it’s powerful.

When you love yourself you’re acutely aware of what feels right and what is healthy for you. And when faced with a relationship prospect, you’re open with empathy and available to know what’s good for the other person. Which leads me to my next point.

Relationships. The art of listening.

Recently, my friend Vafa gave me a great perspective on relationships. He’s married and of Baha'i faith. Under Baha'i guidance he grew up understanding that any potential relationship required a critical and thorough investigation of the other person's character.  

Brilliant! With that I would also add to investigate oneself in their company. 

That also ties in what someone else told me. Phil, a relationship counsellor who works out of Sydney emphasised importance to be an good listener. Listening, observing when getting to know a person and when you’re well within the relationship.

Simple, obvious. But how many of us really put that to practice to improve and/or continue happy fulfilling relationships? How many of us find confidence to decide that something may not be all that good?

Love. To be mature and honest with oneself. These two ideas seem to make the most sense to me.

Written:

My home in LA

Listening: Nature sounds. And Wave Racer.