A good way to diminish the stigma and fear around dating apps is to simply treat them as real life conversations. We can still hold our own in these environments and exercise the kind of autonomy we require.
How is this done? Our profile is a huge reflection of what people respond to. Therefore, our profiles should be an honest representation of who we are.
Why is this important to point out? Because quite often we can rest on the assumed ideas of what other people think we should be as opposed to who we really are. We can also get a little lazy when talking about ourselves and our values. We immediately think it's egotistical to commit to words about our true selves. Or believe we have to be clever or witty, when the majority of us are not.
Ultimately, our values are the very thing that other people want to know or will eventually have to know for any kind of genuine connection to happen.
We're wonderfully complex people with many dimensions that sum up our character. We're passionate about at least one thing if not many. And, just like any human, we all harbour insecurities and are afraid of being judged. Though if we abandon all unhelpful ideas around ourselves, be vocal in a way that's most sincere to us, then our profiles become self filtering in the kinds of conversations we'll attract.
The joy comes when we do away with the huge expectation on an outcome. If we're hell bent on finding 'the one', having the perfect date or a life partner we can miss out on all the opportunities of meeting people that can inspire our lives in more ways we could have ever thought.
That's not to say there can't or shouldn't be an endgame - but we should lighten up a little and just enjoy getting to know the wonderful people that exist beyond our orbit.