Like most children growing up, (hopefully) you were taught, encouraged that you can do anything. It’s all kinds of story telling, books, cartoons. Somewhere along the line the conversation changes, you’re boxed in, closed off, questioned for trying something new, embarrassed or heart broken when you’ve tried once and failed. And then you tell yourself that you’re unable. You make up reasons instead of even trying again.
It’s the kind of conversation and internal dialogue that leads us to regression. Unfulfilled. But it goes against the very thing that we are, a living a human being. All living things grow. Humans evolve. Peaks, accomplishments come from regularly trying and working at a goal, a passion. Even with the peaks we’re constantly moving, changing.
I once met a woman on a plane trip who kept on trying at love. She lost her first husband out at sea. Her second, to cancer. When I met her she was within a year of her second husband’s passing and was dating a Qantas pilot. I asked she found the courage to love again. She told me one must remain “open”. That there is a place for grief but one has to keep keep moving, living.
What if she decided to remain in pain, loss and suffering of her first husband? Closed off from love? She wouldn’t have had all those beautiful opportunities, or at least given herself the chance to.
This example on love can be applied to anything in life.
Which leads me to willingness. A wise woman told me “Expectation is the partner of disappointment, but willingness is the dance partner of life. There’s a small verbal distinction, but a huge energy difference.”
Think about how lighter you would be if you lived by willingness. You still your have goals, plans and with that you shake off doubt, fear, the obsession of perfection, impatience, the pressure to get things “right” all the time. Then in time, the peaks and the accomplishments come along because we have the courage to just do.